Important Conversation

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J and I are meeting with someone today for an important conversation. It's something we need to have, but definitely not something I am looking forward to. Keep me in your prayers. I'll update you soon.

Day 18: The Power of Transcendence

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Yesterday's chapter focused on transcending the illusion that I am acting on my own. This will allow me to step into my greatness by recognizing that I am an extension of God that has been given gifts that I must deliver to humankind. This transcendence helps me to release the feelings of unworthiness so that I can contribute to the world in the way God has planned for me. This will also help me to seek resources and support to ensure that my purpose is fulfilled. I first wrote about places where I was still stuck and still trying to do things on my own. It is amazing how easily I get stuck and often times do not reach for the higher power that I know can help me. I later wrote a list of how my life will be different once I transcend. I am working on this today and paying attention to the signs of God throughout my day. Have you transcended. If so, how? If not, how would your life be different if you did.

Hurdle 1: April First

So... I met with my advisor yesterday and we talked about my dissertation. I am switching my topic to align more with my research interests. Although, some of the same pieces are still intact, there is still a lot that needs to be changed. So, I am working to crank out three chapters by April 1st. I would love to do this before then so I can actually enjoy some of my Spring Break. Send up your prayers. I believe it's possible.

Fridays: Dear Friday, What took you so long?

As I've mentioned before, Fridays mark the end of the work week and the beginning of the dissertation (and everything else I don't have time for during the week) grind. Even still, I am so happy that work is wrapping up this week. I am worn out. I'll be doing tons of work, based on my meeting with my advisor yesterday. However, I am still happy it's finally here. Starting now, I will be making at least one self-care goal on Fridays for the weekend. This weekend, I plan to spend at least an hour in a bubble bath and reading. That sounds so relaxing to me.

Day 17: The Light of Devotion

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Yesterday's focus was the Light of Devotion. The author discusses how fear is often what guides us to our behaviors, thoughts, and feelings. Fear of failure, Fear of abandonment, Fear of being unsuccessful, etc... However, when we tune i to our fears, we don't rely on something that can be even more helpful. This is our faith. So I spent time imagining what my life could look like if I lived with faith. Now, don't get me wrong. I enjoy my life and think it's fairly good for the most part. However, I realize I could get so much more out of it and I can enjoy the good things so much more if I tune into faith. For instance, fear of bad feedback on my dissertation proposal can stall me or prolong my process. However, faith will help me to get it turned in so that I can make the appropriate corrections and keep moving on. How will you make sure you tune into faith.

Insomnia

Hear I am struggling to sleep. I really need to sleep. I thought about pulling out school work, but I am so tired that I doubt that I would be productive. My sister told me that when she can't sleep, she prays. I am going to try that. What do you do when you can't sleep?

Day 16: The Light of God's Will

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Today was interesting. Today focused on examining areas of my life where I don't have everything that I deserve and desire and making a choice between God's will and my ego's will. This was hard because this means giving up control. For those who know me, giving up control is not something that is easy for me to do. However, when looking at the limitations I impose on myself I become more aware that this is what I need... I will constantly evaluate who's will I am following.

Dissertation Bootcamp

(Photo from upenn.edu)

I came across this picture and thought that this was a good way of capturing the dissertation process. Every chapter feels like that and there are five. Not to mention the amount of re-writes, meetings, and edits that come. Well, at least I should have pretty toned arms and legs after this.

Now That's What I'm Talking About it!

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I had a meeting with one of my committee members today and it was fantastic. She was so supportive and so interested in my ideas. Now don't get me wrong, she challenged me, questioned some of my ideas, and even disagreed with me. However, I didn't feel undervalued, silly, or any of those other feelings that I have felt in the past. I am pumped about my dissertation again. Now, I need some time and some rest and I will be an unstoppable Dissertating Machine

Day 15: The Light of Realization

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Yesterday marked my first day in the future stage of the cleanse. To be honest, I am surprised that I am actually sticking with this. This day was spent focusing on a higher state of consciousness and finding three things I would use to ground myself in this higher state. The things I chose to focus on are Self-Control, Enthusiasm, and Determination. I believe that these things will keep me grounded and help me realize my goals. I pulled together some pictures, poems, and quotes to remind myself of what I wanted to do and ways to do it. I must admit, I am feeling much better and I truly feel as if I have been able to cleanse my mind. Don't get me wrong, I still get stressed out, overwhelmed, etc. The change is that I am aware of what is going on and I can re-center myself so much easier. If you haven't tried the cleanse. I really think you should

I'm Back

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Good Morning! I have been away since Thursday. Honestly, I have felt too stressed and overwhelmed to write. I also have not made any progress on the Consciousness Cleanse until today. Choosing not to blog and not to read are signs that I was feeling overwhelmed and tense. It does not make sense that when feeling this way I chose to give up exactly what helps me to feel better. The dissertation can be an overwhelming process because there is no structure, it is long, it is fairly undirected, and by this time in the program you are typically worn out. I definitely feel this way. Also, I am working full time. I enjoy my job a lot, but I have felt increasingly busy there too. I am also working on another project that is huge and extremely important to me. I can't share exactly what it is yet, but I am excited about it. All of this is exciting and exhausting at the same time. I say all of this to say... Today I am feeling the weight of everything I am juggling, but i am making a choice to do what I know I need to do to feel better and to take care of my mind, body, and spirit.