I Give Up... Control.

http://blogs.browardpalmbeach.com

When it comes to planning, I can sometimes be rigid and controlling. I realize that these characteristics aren't the best, but they have been pretty useful in helping me to maintain my schedule and productivity. Yea, Yea, Yea... I know that anything in excess can be a bad thing which is why I realize that I must give up control. Now some of my friends have reminded that I have never really been in control anyways. I always agree, but I have never really allowed myself to believe that. This dissertation process is such a personal and private experience, but there is a limit to how much control I have. So, Today I have decided to give up control... I'll let you know how it goes.

Dissertation Proposal Meeting DEADLINE!

(Photo from: http://www.streamys.org)

Time is running out until another deadline. My proposal meeting is a week from today. MAY 11th. I must admit, I am a little worried because I don't have my edits yet for my proposal. I am sure that everything will work out, but when I have so much going on... it can be difficult to have uncertainty. If anything, this dissertation process will teach me to let go of control and learn to have patience. How do you release control of things you never really had control over, anyways?

Waiting...

(Photo from patientpowernow.org)

So, I turned my proposal in and now it's time to wait... I'm waiting for my advisor's comments. I'm starting to get anxious. You would think I would just be able to wait until I get it back and enjoy my time off. However, the dissertation process is now out of my control and I am struggling with that. I really need to work on giving up control and relaxing. Does anyone else struggle to give up control?

Day 16: The Light of God's Will

(Photo from http://777denny.files.wordpress.com)

Today was interesting. Today focused on examining areas of my life where I don't have everything that I deserve and desire and making a choice between God's will and my ego's will. This was hard because this means giving up control. For those who know me, giving up control is not something that is easy for me to do. However, when looking at the limitations I impose on myself I become more aware that this is what I need... I will constantly evaluate who's will I am following.

Day 11: The Power of Acceptance

(Photo from Oprah.com)

Today's focus was on accepting. Accepting that the past is the past and accepting that things happen in this world that I can't control. Accepting this allows me to let go of undeserved responsibility and helps me reach out when necessary. I also worked on accepting that I am responsible for my life force and my life force only. I cannot control how others may treat me or how things line up. However, I can control how I respond and how I will cope. What do you need to accept?