Harvard-educated professor kills colleagues

(Photo from cnn.com)

(Photo from nytimes.com)

I am so disturbed by reading about the Harvard-educated professor at UAH who shot six of her colleagues, killing three of them. Cnn.com reports that she had recently been denied tenor. My heart goes out to the victims' families, the students, the professors, and the other community members. Lately I have been so aware of how a life can change immediately and unexpectedly. Another thing that disturbs me is that she did this after being recently denied tenure. As someone who plans to work as a professor, I see the dissertation as one of the last significant hurdles in my academic career and I see "getting tenure" as one of the last significant hurdles in a professor's career. I constantly see examples of people in academia who are dedicated and devoted to their career. Although I admire hard work and dedication, this incident is a reminder of the importance of having balance. When a career milestone becomes so important that something like this happens, it becomes clear that balance and a healthy mind is so important. I am reminded to keep balance and perspective in my life. I am also reminded to seek help from a mental health professional if I realize that I am having trouble balancing on my own. And yes... Mental health professional seek help, too.

Day 4: The Gift of Forgiveness

Today I focused on forgiveness. I wrote down the resentments and grudges I have and calculated the amount of time, down to the seconds, that I have lost because of these grudges. In the beginning of the book, the author suggests that the reader spends an extra day on concepts they really need to work on. Forgiveness is something that is going to be a huge part of my consciousness cleanse so, I have decided to spend one more day focusing on forgiveness. If you could truly forgive one things, what would it be?

Emotional Roller Coaster of a Dissertation

This dissertation has given me highs, lows, turned me upside down, and dropped me rapidly. It reminds me of Vivian Green's song Emotional Rollercoaster. I choose not to get off until the ride is over, but boy... What a ride!! (Photo from learnersdictionary.com)

Fridays: Love them or Hate them?

Every week, people (including me) count down to Friday. We look forward to not having to work or go through the motions of our typical week. However, when I really think about it, the life of someone working on a dissertation actually gets more stressful starting on Friday. This is when I don't have the distractions of my "typical life" and I can really focus on my research and all of the things I don't have time to do during the week. Unfortunately, I'm so exhausted by the end of the Friday work day, I'm sure I am not as productive as I could be. Not quite sure what to do about that yet.

Some Funny Motivation

I found these t-shirts on zazzle.com and they made me laugh. I can't tell you how many times I have explained that I will not be able to perform surgery.

Day 3: The Gift of Release

Today's exercises were pretty powerful. First, I was instructed to focus on all of the things I was holding on to, that were impeding me from living my life the way I want to live. This included regrets, patterns, even thoughts that were holding me back. Then I wrote a story of my life if I was able to release all of those things. This was the most powerful for me. The things I wrote in my story weren't too outlandish or impossible to achieve. It helped me to focus on what I wanted and what that would look like, feel like, sound like, and even taste like. I almost felt as if I could feel it and now I am more determined than ever to keep all of these old regrets and toxins from holding me back. Whose with me. LOL!!!
(Photo from Oprah.com)

E-Reader Dilemna

Apple's iPad

Amazon's Kindle

Barnes and Noble's Nook

Sony E-Reader

I resisted the e-reader for a long time. I enjoy being able to collect, display, feel, and smell my books. Some have even called me a book snob. Imagine That! Finally, around December I was bitten by the e-reader bug and decided to make the plunge. I originally planned to get Barnes and Noble's nook, but after reading reviews and demoing (is that a word) the nook and the Sony e-reader, I chose the Kindle 2. I got my kindle, the cute purple leather case, a book light, and read at least fifteen books when I was hit with buyer's remorse because the iPad was announced. So, I returned my kindle and am now waiting for the iPad. Hopefully, it has everything I like about the kindle and more. As of now, I am reading the few books I have left on my iPhone. What's your take on e-readers? Have you made the switch?

Day 2: The Gift of Self-Awareness

So, today's activity wasn't as fun. I still did the morning meditation, but the activity for today was to list all of my regrets and then to think about what/where I could be if I let them go. Thinking about my regrets was not very fun, however I did realize that I am holding on to some "silly" things. For instance, I wrote that I regret not taking post secondary classes in high school. SERIOUSLY?!? Even worse, is that this is a regret that I think of often. I also realized that I am beating myself up for choices I made a long time ago. How cruel of me. I would never let a friend or my boyfriend berate me for the same mistake ten years later. That might even be considered abusive. If nothing else, this exercise helped me to recognize how worthless some of the things I hold onto are. Ok. I have that recognition. Now what? I hope the author has something else for me tomorrow. Ask yourself, what regrets are you hanging on to??? Night.

Snow Day! The Gift That Keeps On Giving

What did I do to deserve another Snow Day. LOL. I'm starting to get a little tired of being in the house, but my dissertation is definitely enjoying the attention it's been getting. It doesn't even know how to act. Hopefully, I will keep this up when I'm back to work tomorrow (unless we want to drag this snow day out one more day). I'm not complaining, I'm just saying...

Free Valentine's Day Playlist

I love to try new things, especially when they are free. Amazon is giving away a free Valentine's Day Playlist and all the songs are free. Who knows... Maybe you'll find a song or two that you like. And if not, at least you didn't pay for it. Try it now. I'm not sure how long it will last. (Photo from askmissa.com)

Amazon's Valentine's Day Playlist

REVIEW: Barack and Michelle: Portrait of an American Marriage

Amazon Rating: 3 ½ out of 5 stars
Barnes & Noble Rating: 3 0ut of 5 stars.

Things I liked: The book shared some very interesting histories about Barack and Michelle and their courtship. It also talked a lot about the struggles in their marriage before Barack ran for president and the different emotions they experiences. At times Michelle was "fuming" with Barack. There definitely were many things I could relate to and the underlying theme that success comes with perseverance and hard work rang loud and clear. I also enjoyed that it did not paint a picture of marriage being easy and the author emphasized the hard work. It went against the typical portrait we see about marriage and said "it ain't easy." I think I finished this book with a lot of interesting facts and some lessons about hard work, success, and marriage.

Things I disliked: I almost felt like it was more about their history, then about their marriage. I learned a lot of details and the author talked a lot about what went wrong. However, it never really explained how their marriage got "back on track." It talked a lot about the different campaigns and races and how the changes in their living situation (all living in the White House) helped them, but never talked about how they reconciled some of the core issues that were highlighted in the book.

Overall, I thought it was good, but felt like some core things were not addressed or given closure.

My final rating: 3 ½ out of 5 stars

Day 1: The gift of desire

Today was the first day of the 21-day consciousness cleanse. The morning practice of meditating and asking myself some questions was really helpful in helping me to start my day off relaxed and focused on my goals. I made a list of all the things that I desire. Some were inner longings and some were outer longings, but I brainstormed and did not hold back. At first, I was trying to really think, but as I got more and more comfortable I got more ideas and it was very freeing. As I looked through them I was amazed at how much they all related to each other and at how much I actually do want from life. We are constantly encouraged to give back or help others so, it was very nice for me to just sit still and think about some of my desires. What are some of your desires that you constantly ignore?
Photo from nscblog.com.

Snow Day! This time, it's for real.

So, today was a snow day and my job was officially closed. Which meant, I had a day to dedicate to my dissertation and... I DID!!! I sat at my computer for nine hours straight and only got up to the use the bathroom. I felt like I was in a zone and although it was difficult, I met my goal for what I wanted to get done and now have a very solid methodology chapter. The hardest part of doing anything is just getting started. So, when you're lacking motivation... Just do it! You will be surprised at how easy it becomes. (Pic from 10tv.com)

Pursuit of Perfection is a Guaranteed Failure

I just finished talking to my best friend after watching the Superbowl. Side note: Congrats Saints! It's amazing how we can be on the same page and not even have talked about it. We are both high achievers and can both be pretty hard on ourselves. We both expressed how we felt that our perfectionism just led us to continuous disappointment, kept us feeling unsatisfied, caused us to ignore our successes, and ultimately held us back from enjoying things that we love. We both are making some changes in our lives and the way we see ourselves. I feel so blessed to have a best friend who will challenge me and push me when I am falling back into my old ways of thinking and behaving. I will definitely do the same for her. Good Luck. I love you and I know WE can do it, together.

Preparation for the Conciousness Cleanse

So, instead of beginning the Consciousness Cleanse, the book started out with a preparation for the cleanse. I'm all about preparing and organizing so, I like that it started it out with that. The preparation included creating a playlist of songs that motivate me or help me feel centered and reading the morning questions so I can prepare to start asking myself these questions everyday. Oprah.com (which is also where the picture is from has a quiz to help you see if you are ready to begin the cleanse. Check it out if you thinking about it.
21 Day Consciousness Cleanse