Couch to 10K

I have been pushing my self to do some of the things I know will give me naturally energy. However, I have always found an excuse. Until Friday when one of my colleagues/mentor told me about the iPhone app called Couch to 10k. This program trains you and me to run a 10k in 13 weeks. It has 3 workouts a week that has you walk and run in intervals until your endurance is up to get you to the finish line of a 10k. I like that you can listen to music and the app will tell you when to walk or run. I started on week 2 and did the first workout today. It felt great, but I am pretty sure I will sleep well tonight. I hope to keep this up. Night...

I am so Blessed to Have So Much Support!!!

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I just want to take time to say that I have an awesome support network. My research focuses on support both online and offline so, I know how important it is and I feel extremely blessed. The encouraging words, the pep-talks, the accountability, the smiles, the text messages, the bath salts, and even the meals when I am so into my writing that I refuse to break, have been so helpful. I also have a great cohort of other doc students that will help me maintain perspective. Although I will say that this is one of the most stressful times in my life, I feel so blessed to know how much you all love and support me. Thanks so much, I do not take it for granted.

And the Writing Continues...

I am still writing and.... Are those bags under my eyes? That is unacceptable. Moving on. I am gearing up for a meeting with my advisor on Wednesday, followed by a meeting with one committee member later that day and one on Thursday. Until then, I am sure that I will edit, rearrange, and re-write my first three chapters and my IRB several times. This whole process is so strange to me. It is one of the most independent projects that depends on so many other factors. Although I have several meeting, I am looking forward to them because they always help to give me a sense of where I am at in this whole process. Of course, I usually have a million changes (slight exxageration) and tons of new ideas, but who's complaining. I'm a therapist who is "all about the process" so, I need to learn to be "all about the process" of writing this dissertation. LOL. Thanks for letting me vent.

I PASSED!!!

No, No No. Not my defense. I passed the Praxis exam for my school counselor license. I hope to teach both mental health counselors and school counselors one day. So, having this license will be very useful. I'm sure most people are like... "of course you passed, "You always do well in school," and on and on... I do well often, but what some people don't realize is I have to work really hard. I know some people who can absorb information quickly and make connections and conclusions. This is not me. Sometimes I wonder what everyone else thinks about their ability to perform in an academic environment. Maybe the people who I think are so academically talented, also question their ability to consistently perform at a high level. I digress... I am just excited I passed. One more thing I can stop thinking about.

Dear Stress, I Refuse to Let You Win!

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I have been feeling anxious for over 24 hours. I think working on my dissertation has helped me to understand the depth of what I have left to do. All of this, with a very busy, stressful, and emotional day at work has me feeling exhausted and of course... worried. I know what helps decrease anxiety, proper nutrition, exercise, good sleep, deep breathing, journaling (or blogging)... and the list goes on. I a determined maintain as much balance through this process so, I am forcing myself to stop writing and go to bed before 10:00. I plan to walk tomorrow and spend at least two months meditating. What do you do when you are beginning to feel stress?

Another Hurdle Cleared!!!

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Yea, Yea, Yea... I know. It's been a week since I wrote. I am trying to keep up with this, but when I get overwhelmed... You know. Anyways, I had my proposal meeting and it was accepted. YAAAYYYY. Their was tons of feedback in the meeting, but I felt supported and respected the entire time. It was nice. I must admit, however, that I was given so many ideas and the dialogue was so rich that my head felt like it was spinning when it was over. Regardless, I have finished another hurdle. These are the hurdles I have left. 1) IRB Approval, 2) Data Collection, 3) Data Analyses, 4) Write Draft 5) Rounds and round of Edits, 6) Submit to Committee, & 7) The DEFENSE! Okay my heart is beating rapidly now. I am on a tight deadline and I am praying and hoping that it all works out by my desired date which is late JULY. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers as well. There is no way I can do this without the help of God and the support of my friends and family.

Thanks!

Feeling Guilty

I am beginning to wonder... How much is enough. I took a break from my dissertation this weekend. Really only Saturday because I worked on it on Friday and today. Regardless, I am beginning to feel guilty from putting it down. I don't know everything there is to know about my topic. How dare I put it down as if I had mastered the subject area? I know these thoughts are irrational, I promise. But.... What do I do with this guilt that I carry whenever I spend time doing something else. It's as if my dissertation is an all-consuming and jealous relationship. Whenever I focus on something else, I can count on my dissertation to be waiting impatiently for me with accusatory eyes. Wow! One more thing I love about blogging... The ability to vent with no interruptions. Thanks for listening to my complaints. I can now stop complaining and get ready to tackle this week.

What if I am Truly a Princess?

I turned my dissertation proposal in to my committee on Friday so, I decided to spend a little time away from my dissertation this weekend and allow myself to read a book strictly for pleasure. Reading is my favorite activity. I love getting lost in stories. Unfortunately, I rarely find time to read for pleasure. The sequel to Sex and the City is coming out at the end of the month so, I thought that reading the book, The Carrie Diaries, would be fun and low-stress. It is a cute and fun book and I love this quote from a little girl in the very beginning of the book, "What if I'm a princess on another planet? And no one knows on this planet?" How cute is that? Anyone who knows me, knows that I often wonder whether I was meant to be a princess. Ahhhh.... Sometimes it's fun to stop being so academic and just enjoy the small things like reading a book, or wondering about my true calling as a princess. What are the small things in life you enjoy?

Another Writing Cram Session!

The dissertation comes and go in lulls. I write, I submit, I wait, I edit, I submit, I wait, I write, I submit, I wait, I edit, I submit, I wait, I write, I submit, I wait, I edit, I submit, I wait, I write, I submit, I wait, I edit, I submit, I wait.... My advisor gave me decent feedback, but I have tons of edits and after a conversation with him, there may even be some restructuring. All in time to finish the proposal and give it to my committee tomorrow to prepare for my proposal meeting on Sunday. Now that I officially feel the tension in my neck from just blogging about it, I will log off and do it.... I will keep you posted. Wish me Luck!

I Just Got My Feedback!!

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I just got an email from my advisor with his feedback on my dissertation proposal. I am glad I got it back, but I am a little nervous to see what he said. Ideally, I will make the changes and get a hard copy to my committee members by Friday. This gives them the weekend and Monday to read it in time for my proposal meeting on Tuesday. Yikes. I am going to bed now, but plan to look at this in the morning. Hopefully, I will be well rested and ready to go tomorrow. Wish me luck. Night.